Civil action request from the LGBT community

Sam Perrier I have my pronouns everywhere except here because I get misgendered a lot on Facebook by men when I’m arguing with them. When they think I’m a man they speak respectfully to me and then I hit them with my actual gender and they get so mad that they missed out on being abusive to a woman.

Richard Pressl It really is amazing there are roughly 97+% folks out a hundred who are, and self-identify as “straight”, and yet the culture spends an inordinate amount of time on the sexual proclivities and personal preferences of the 2%. All the body piercings, tats, and absurd body marking on the planet are signs that a whole helluva lot of folks are superfluous to the life and health of the planet. Do something useful – other than brandish individuality as a bludgeon.

Lori Gallagher Witt Queer people have to worry about losing jobs, not having access to a sick partner’s bedside, being murdered, being thrown out of their houses, conversion therapy, losing rights, corrective rape, etc., all at the hands of straight people. When none of those are issues, then we can talk about how “superfluous” any of this is.
Displaying pronouns takes seconds, and prevents trans people from having to out themselves as trans in an environment where doing so can cost them their jobs or even their lives. But sure, feel free to oversimplify the issue to people just wanting to wave their identity around, rather than people trying to exist in a society where a not insignificant number of people want them ostracized or dead.

Sam Perrier I don’t know where you’re getting your numbers from. Maybe if you exclude Gen Z and even millennials you might find 97% of folks who self-identify as straight, and even then I would bet a good number of those folks would lean a little bent if they grew up in a more accepting time and place. Also, our culture is ridiculously skewed straight – the vast majority of available media is by, about, and for straight folks. But there are some, like you, who think that any attention to queer folks is too much. How sad that diversity is still feared by certain demographics. I’m not even going to attempt to address the body piercings tangent because it doesn’t make sense in any context.

Alex Daum I agree it doesn’t seem proportional. That’s because nobody needs to talk about the rights of straight people. We have them all. In case you haven’t noticed they do not. How could someone not notice is mostly beyond me. You’d have to live under a rock. I’m sure that once they have the same rights as I do they wont be quite so noisy. So if you want them to shush it is easy start voting pro equality

Rachel A. Bernhardt This may come as a shock to you, Richard Pressl but my niece is a tattoo artist and she said at least ⅓ of the people who get tats and piercings where she works are straight white men (as the shop owner is gay and in a “cool” part of town, the men are generally ally types, so maybe you include them in your rant, too). Oh, and maybe you have seen footage of (or been to) a Trump rally? Personally, I think all those tattooed rednecks cheering for the biggest piece of scum on earth are about as superfluous as human get — or maybe swastika tattoos are ok with you, as long as they are being sported by (purportedly) straight man/woman?

Richard Pressl Lori…I might be more inclined to consider the plight of LGBTQXYZ people -IF- they comprised a significant portion of planetary inhabitants…but they are not. The anger, hatred, violence, and depravity visited on blacks, browns, the poor, handicapped, and those with serious health and physical problems are several orders of magnitude greater in count and import than the abuse being spoken of being directed at XYZ’s. For example, how many of that group have been killed by police in 2018 vs the number of young black males?.

Sure, any easily recognized member of a minority community will be subject to negative interactions with the majority; but much of that does not qualify as a vital national concern. Humanity will be better served by progressives fighting for a living wage, universal health care, a protected natural environment, equitable treatment by LEOs, adherence to professional standards of conduct by public officials, enhanced support for ALL at-risk citizens, and adherence to universally recognized agreements on basic human rights.

Lori Gallagher Witt That’s a pretty messed up way to view it: you’d give a shit about us if there were more of us. Never mind how many queer people are murdered or beaten just for existing — there aren’t enough of us to matter. I could go on at length about how absolutely appalling your comment is, particularly in light of the number of trans black women alone who’ve been murdered this year or the disproportionate number of homeless youth who are queer (having been expelled from their family homes), but you’re clearly not interested because there aren’t enough of us. That’s gross, dude. Seriously.

Kendra Patterson Richard Pressl it’s appalling that you’d come on to Lori’s page and be so condescending and disrespectful. Please sit your privileged A$$ down and shut up!

Sandy Momsen Courser I’m a little stunned that anyone would try to make this a numbers game as a legitimate argument. Besides, how many LGBTQ people are still closeted for fear of terrible, possibly life-threatening repercussions?

Richard Pressl Ah phooey….denizens -=believe=- their collective is due special consideration OVER AND ABOVE ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE…to which I say nuts. I am saying there are MUCH BIGGER concerns than how someone chooses to self-identify sexually. Too many here seem to live in a very small room.

Lori Gallagher Witt Richard Pressl Literally NO ONE is saying “focus on LGBT+ people above all others.” I can be outraged about police violence and children being denied food at school while ALSO being outraged about how people like me are treated. And yes, there are much bigger concerns than how someone identifies sexually or their gender identity, but since straight people insist on making it an issue and making our lives hell, not to mention putting our lives in danger just because of that minor issue, we have to step up and demand they stop.
Don’t blame queer people. Blame the straight people who made queerness into an issue and put our lives and rights in danger in the first place.

Lori Gallagher Witt The fact that we’re focusing on queer people in THIS conversation doesn’t mean “while folks here pay no attention.” You’ve been following me on FB long enough to know that I damn sure focus on multiple issues of people being oppressed and harmed. It’s YOU who’s demanding people pick and choose. Focusing on one topic in a single conversation is not the same as not paying attention to it or not being outraged by it. Telling us to sit down and shut up because there aren’t enough of us or because you believe others have it worse is appalling.

Richard Pressl Indeed Lori…but the format of this conversation, especially when it is redirected elsewhere does NOT include the other elements I refer to above. And when seen by other non-affiliated individuals these presentations make it APPEAR that it is primarily an effort to aid ONLY select individuals.

Lori Gallagher Witt Richard Pressl Bullshit. Do you also walk into conversations about cops killing black men and make sure they’re focusing on all the other issues? We’re focusing on one issue here because most people are smart enough to understand that a conversation can focus on a single topic while not even remotely implying (never mind outright stating) that other issues are unimportant or not worth discussing. And for that matter, this discussion literally started with “Hey, if you take 2 seconds to put your pronouns in your email sign/bio/etc, it makes life a lot easier for your trans colleagues.”

Literally no one but you thought that was dismissing *anything* else, just like if I say “this restaurant is really good”, I’m not saying anything at all about the other dozen restaurants on the same block. What happened here is queer people saying “here’s a very simply thing you can do that has a very significant effect on us,” at which point you threw a fit about us demanding the entire population go to great lengths to accommodate us, and then you brought up other groups suffering oppression and violence to shame us into shutting up, and when that didn’t work, you tried to claim that “here’s a thing to help queer people” really meant “shut about anyone and everyone else and FOCUS ON US TO THE EXCLUSION OF ALL ELSE.”

You tried to pull the focus away from queer people (since we’re unworthy of your time or attention), and when we tried to pull it back FOR THIS CONVERSATION, you tried to shame us for ignoring other groups. Take that tactic elsewhere because it won’t fly here.

Richard Pressl Lori Gallagher Witt …and on a personal note, I have followed your writings for years, and very much know you have an expansive involvement with a wide variety of issues in the human condition. And I salute you for it. The issue for me occurs when this article hits my feed, and someone responds along the lines of “why do these ppl spend so much time and effort on this minutia” – and I end up like the person hearing the refrain: “All Lives Matter” in response to the “Black Lives Matter” presentations. We can make an effective unified resistance, but the small-step approach among particular constituencies will simply generate negating blowback.

Lori Gallagher Witt Richard Pressl There wasn’t a whole lot of time or energy being expended on this until you came along and told us it wasn’t worth it. It took me seconds to add “she/her” to my Twitter and FB bios, and to my email signature. Yet now we’re occupied with allllll these comments where you’re expending (and demanding) time and energy to defend people saying “hey let’s normalize being decent human beings.” Because what you call minutia is what we call something that protects the safety and job security of trans people and is also a subtle, non-confrontational way of saying “I support my trans colleagues.” It’s a tiny minor thing straight people can do that makes a significant difference for our trans colleagues.

I can do that (and suggest others do the same) without taking away any time or energy from other causes… until I have to come along and defend it to people who obviously oppose it enough to put time and energy into arguing against it.

You could literally just…. not add pronouns to your bio. That’s it. It doesn’t inconvenience you or take away from anyone else if I choose to add them to mine. It doesn’t hurt anyone or any cause if I say “hey guys, this would make things easier for some people.” You don’t want a big production made out of it? Don’t make a big production out of it.
And with that, I’m done because this conversation is a waste of my time and energy.

Richard Pressl As an old guy I simply use the person’s first name when referring to them…and save the abstractions and classifications for other purposes.

Richard Pressl In a related mode, I have no interest in getting a tattoo to show solidarity with those who have tats, or counter negative stereotypes. Do whatever the h… you want with your body, or refer to yourself by any label you chose…just don’t suggest others have any obligation to authenticate anyone’s personal presentations especially those which are contrary to perceived reality.

Katie Doyle Richard Pressl “There aren’t enough LGBTQ+ people to care about, so I’m going to shame you all for caring about it” is one hell of a way to show your bigotry, dude.

Richard Pressl Again, the header to the discussion as I read it was to encourage straight people to append a gender pronoun to their public identifications as a show of support for LGBT individuals, which to me is an extremely minor concern given all the serious issues we have not addressed as a society. And by focusing on a niche issue request to the larger community it provides the basis for further social and political discord.

Richard Pressl I’m reminded of the complete flummoxing in society over the transition from “African American” to “Black” as an example of what I am saying. What if Negroes wanted to be called “African-Americans” instead of Negroes?

Meredith McCann Richard Pressl, it’s amazing how easy it is for someone (you) to treat other people like shit because they (you) deem them “insignificant” for whatever convenient reason they (you) pull out of their (your) sphincter. Shame on you. Enjoy being a shitty person. Lucky for you there are plenty of shitty people out there, since population percentages are the only thing that make you deem your fellow human beings worthy of basic common decency. Morality based on numbers is a stunningly terrible viewpoint

Heather Dalloul Richard Pressl Why disregard one minority group because of others? Humans have the capacity to care for more than one thing at one time. When you are concerned with one child are you not concerned about your others or is it one at a time? I am a brown queer woman with health issues. I am concerned about all those issues and more with no problem.

Meredith McCann Richard Pressl, following your ridiculous rules – why are you so offended by minor details like tattoos and body piercings? There are millions of people starving, sick, and dying but you felt the need to whine about nose rings and butterfly tattoos. Thanks for proving that you don’t even actually believe your own bullcrap.

Domynoe Loeb Richard Pressl People are people and they ALL deserve respect regardless of what group they’re in and what percentage of the population that group represents. You’re an asshat for thinking otherwise. Fuck off.

Jenifer Payne The fuck is wrong with you, Richard Pressl? It costs nothing to be kind and respect others’ struggles, no matter how small their numbers. Jesus. Do you know how many trans women have been murdered this year? Too fucking many.

Jenifer Payne And as a mom of a severely autistic son, GTFOH with your bullshit shaming. Trans issues matter, you psycho potato man.

Richard Pressl Sure would be helpful if all this righteous indignation and support of universal human rights got it’s fat ass off this page and made it into the street as our brothers and sisters are doing in Hong Kong, Chile, and elsewhere…but naw..we’re adequately comfortable so we nibble at crumbs while simultaneously patting ourselves on the back while all around us the World as we knew it is heading toward imminent disaster. Nuts!”

Barbara Pfeiffer And interestingly enough – here YOU are. Perhaps you want to take your “fat ass” (and wasn’t that nasty) off this page and go out and march? Take some pictures too because my view of you is an idiot sitting in a basement trying to rile people up You make a helluva lot of assumptions about what people are doing and a helluva lot of decisions about what is “appropriate” for people to be concerned about.

Lori Gallagher Witt You keep assuming that nobody here is doing anything beyond posting in this thread. I literally flew across an ocean to attend the Women’s March in DC, and have actively been working to unseat Susan Collins here in Maine. Posting in a FB thread and actively fighting what’s going on in the world are not mutually exclusive.

The difference between us and you is that you’re telling us to sit down and shut up because you don’t value one of the things we’re fighting for, and instead you shame us for all the other things we’re not focusing on at this specific moment in time.

Leta Blake I’m not cis-gender and personally don’t want to display my pronouns because I feel it gives tacit approval to the ideal that pronouns = gender identity. Which isn’t true. I’m nb and prefer she/her. Yes, I could put, “she/her, nb”, but I’m not out to my extended family and don’t want to be yet. If I put she/her, the default assumption is cis due to how I prefer to present. Yes, I know that’s the assumption anyway, but I still prefer that over tacitly approving the idea that gender identity can be instantly known simply by knowing a person’s preferred pronouns. YMMV.


ps: Yes, this was a deliberately provocative posting I created for its educational value.

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