Daddy Issues Revisited

PAPA PAINS: Signs You May Have “Daddy Issues”

June 16, 2012  |  

I’m sure we’ve all heard the term “Daddy’s Girl” – you know…that “Princess” who was spoiled rotten by her father and has him wrapped around her little finger. Most women fortunate enough to have a special relationship with their father wear that title as a badge of honor.

But for others who weren’t as fortunate, they carry a different badge that reads: “Daddy Issues.” They say a woman has “daddy issues” when her behavior or mindset indicates that her father was either absent in her life completely, or physically present but emotionally unavailable.

These issues can plague a young girl into adulthood, especially if she’s trying to compensate for the attention she may not have received from her father in her relationships. While a woman may seem to have it all together at first glance, there are certain characteristics women with daddy issues display – and if you’re not sure, the following may be a few of the signs.

1. She Only Dates Older Men

Some women who lacked a father growing up may find themselves solely attracted to older men. These older men then become the “father-figure” in their lives rather than a boyfriend. She looks to these men to care for and provide for her in order to feel a sense of security – which she lacked growing up from her own father. Dating older men is her subconscious yearning for fatherly love.

2. She’s Jealous and/or Overly Protective

Most women who grew up without a father probably did so because their father left the home. No matter the reason, all she knows is her father abandoned her – and if she’s close to and adores her mother, she may be resentful that he abandoned her mother as well. In dating situations, she may be a bit jealous, clingy and overly protective of her man because she’s afraid he’ll leave just like her father did. After all, if a father can leave his daughter, certainly a regular Joe off the street can bounce with no warning. Thinking every man is capable of leaving may make her try to hold on to him that much harder, even when the relationship isn’t a healthy one. Then when her constant smothering becomes too much for him to handle, he leaves – and she says, “I told you so.”

3. She Needs Constant Reassurance of Love or Affection

4. She’s Promiscuous or Sexually Aggressive

These women look to sex to fill the void left by her father. Most fathers teach their daughters to respect themselves and their bodies, so if he was never around to give this advice, she may feel that sex is power – and she uses it to gain the attention she lacked as a young girl. Unfortunately, what these women discover is that they can’t fill that void with jerks and jump-offs – she’ll only attract more men who are only interested in sex and who will disappoint her. It’s a cycle of emptiness that most women with daddy issues continue.

5. She is a Serial Dater/Monogamist

Some women can’t remain single because they’re constantly looking for a man to fill her father’s shoes. They move from boyfriend to boyfriend because being alone is their greatest fear. She can’t simply “be.” These women should take the time to get know themselves, therefore recognizing a pattern so that she can ultimately break it. It’s okay to be “man-less” – because in the end, no matter how many great men she dates, none of them will ever measure up because none of them will ever be her father. She has to learn to accept the past and forgive her father for his short-comings so that every man she meets doesn’t pay for his mistakes. There ARE men out there who are NOT like her father, and once she learns to love herself, she will see that she’s worthy of a good man. But until then, it’s okay to be single!



1 comment to Daddy Issues Revisited

  • perachtis

    From the second source: “Our understanding of “daddy issues” has been defined and controlled by what men think are women’s failings. But it’s the ways in which men have failed that have made things this way. It’s on women now to define and understand our suffering, so here’s a try. Daddy issues: the issue of men finding it easy to throw away the responsibility of fatherhood, the issue of all of us excusing them. We locate the problem of abandonment in the abandoned. Turn that around, and then we can talk.”

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